Over the past couple of years, I have intermittently posted my thoughts here on this blog. I enjoyed writing and I particularly enjoyed having people tell me they enjoyed my writing. I have come to realize over the past few months that I have been writing for the validation of the praise it often brought me. The last several months have brought quite a few changes in the way I look at life and also they way I see myself. For the first time in my life, I’m pretty comfortable with who I am. The upshot of that is that I don’t really need the validation I get from the praise of other people. I might like it, but I don’t NEED it. With that realization has come a rather severe drop in my motivation to write. I still enjoy writing to a certain extent, but in the future I will do it for different reasons. I have long aspired to write a book and maybe I will still do that. I don’t know. Time is an issue. I’m not young anymore. Although I’m not old, per se, I am more and more conscious of the passage of time. There are still things I want to do that require the time I would spend writing.
One thing I am definitely doing is taking leave of this blog, possibly forever. It has served its purpose for me and now I need to get away from it because it ties me to a time in my life I can no longer relate to. The freedom I was seeking is now at hand and a new season of life stands before me. Maybe I’ll start a new blog some day. Maybe not.
I leave you with a few random parting thoughts…
I have not gotten a lot out of the current “social networking” trend. It seems to me that myspace and facebook have devalued the word friend almost to the point of meaninglessness. I currently have approximately 274 “friends” on facebook. Of those, I probably have met between 50 and 75 face to face or over the phone. While the others are very nice people, I’m sure, they are truly not my friends. Their lives will be no different without me nor will mine change without them. I’m not shutting down my facebook account, just leaving it to fend for itself. Maybe I’ll visit every now and then. The upshot is that I’m trying to get off the grid as much as it’s possible to do these days. No one really cares what I’m having for dinner or doing this afternoon anyway.
I recently downgraded my iPhone for a less fancy “smart” phone like the one I used to have. All the apps and gizmos really weren’t doing that much for me, and I totally enjoy having a cell phone that makes calls reliably. Sorry Apple. Lower tech just works better for me.
If you aren’t happy with yourself, no one else can make you happy. The converse is also true. In fact you can spend years trying to make someone happy and they will not even realize you were trying. Happiness, contentment and peace all come from inside you. They are a gift from God. You can’t get them from someone else.
Safety is highly overrated. All of us will die some day. The only question is whether we will really live in the mean time. I find that as I get older I regret not taking more chances. There’s still time, though, and I think I’m going to take a few.
A few things I want to do in the time I have left:
Visit Fiji. My Dad was there during WWII. I have always wanted to see it in person.
See Alaska. There’s just something about it that calls to me. I don’t think I could live there, but I really want to experience it for a brief time anyway.
Become competent enough to live in the wilds on my own without fear. That just means knowing enough to not be totally dependent on someone else in a situation where no one else will be there. I am drawn to the wilderness in this season of my life. It would be foolish to neglect basic survival skills.
Hike some of the more scenic national parks. I’m compiling a list…
Climb Mt. Whitney. Possibly as soon as Summer 2011. This is an intermediate step to something I really want to do. Which is…
Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. This is do-able. Celebrities do it for charity. I can do this. I don’t want my life to end without some major adventures to look back on. This one would be a humdinger for me.
Sail the Caribbean in a small sailboat. I love the ocean and I love sailing. See above, re: adventure.
See Europe. The old world is the root of our civilization. I could go anywhere there and be happy.
This isn’t a classic “bucket list” as far as I’m concerned, just some things I want to do. As I said I have become much more aware of the passage of time and I don’t know how much I have left. It’s time to get busy.
Best wishes and love to all of you. I’m not the most reliable blogger anyway, so you won’t even know I’m gone.
See ya in another life…